Why Do Daughters Feel Like Guests in Their In-Laws’ Homes?
Marriage often changes the dynamics of a woman’s life in ways that many people don’t fully understand. While marriage is meant to bring two families together, many daughters and daughters-in-law struggle to feel truly at home in their in-laws’ house. Let’s explore why this happens and what families can do to create a welcoming and loving environment for their daughters-in-law.
Why Do Children Prefer Their Maternal Grandparents’ Home?
Have you ever wondered why children often feel happier at their maternal grandparents’ home (nana-nani’s house) compared to their paternal grandparents’ home (dada-dadi’s house)?
One major reason is emotional safety. At their maternal grandparents’ house, there is rarely any criticism of their mother. The environment is filled with love and acceptance, making the children feel comfortable and relaxed.
When children sense negativity or tension directed toward their mother in any way, they subconsciously feel unsafe and anxious. A peaceful environment for the mother directly translates into a happy environment for the children.
Why Does a Woman Feel More Relaxed at Her Parents’ Home?
Every woman, when she visits her parents’ home, feels an undeniable sense of relief and comfort. Why? Because she knows she won’t be judged there. Her parents and siblings welcome her warmly without measuring her worth by the chores she does or the time she wakes up.
She can wake up at 10 a.m. without feeling guilty. If she doesn’t feel like cooking, no one will hold it against her. There is freedom, unconditional love, and zero judgment, things every human craves.
The Reality at Her In-Laws’ Home
In contrast, many women feel they have to constantly walk on eggshells in their in-laws’ house. She stays alert, cautious, and often nervous afraid that one small mistake will be noticed and judged.
- Did she wake up late?
- Did she forget to make tea for everyone?
- Did she cook the family’s favorite dish?
Everything feels like a test. This pressure doesn’t just affect her, it impacts her children too. Kids sense when their mother is stressed, and that stress becomes part of their own emotional world.
The Ripple Effect: How a Mother’s Stress Impacts Children
When a mother is constantly tense, her children cannot fully relax either. That’s why they feel more joyful at their maternal grandparents’ home because their mother is at peace there. A calm and happy mother creates a happy environment for her children.
A Simple Solution: Give Her What She Had at Home
To all husbands and in-laws, here’s an important message:
You don’t have to give your daughter-in-law a palace or lavish gifts. Just give her half the comfort, love, and understanding she received at her parents’ home.
- If she stayed up all night with the baby, changing diapers and feeding, it’s okay if she can’t wake up early to make breakfast.
- If she doesn’t feel like cooking one day, it’s okay.
- If she needs a little extra rest, it’s okay.
This understanding can transform your home into a place where she feels safe and loved just like her own home.
Why This Matters for Your Family’s Happiness
When a woman feels relaxed and respected in her in-laws’ home, her happiness reflects in every aspect of family life. Your children will grow up in a nurturing, positive environment. They will laugh and play freely, just as they do at their maternal grandparents’ home.
Creating such an atmosphere isn’t just an act of kindness it’s an investment in your family’s emotional well-being.
Final Thoughts
Marriage shouldn’t feel like moving into a new set of rules and judgments. It should feel like gaining another loving family. The day we start treating daughters-in-law as daughters not as outsiders or guests is the day we will see truly happy home.
