Three Pillars of a Healthy Relationship
A healthy marriage demands three essential elements: responsibility, inconvenience, and sacrifice. If even one of these is missing, problems arise. Additionally, if only one partner is fulfilling all three aspects, the relationship will still suffer because these efforts must come from both sides.
1. Responsibility
The first step in a healthy marriage is taking responsibility for your partner in every way. No matter how they are, they are yours, and you must own them both publicly and privately. This sense of accountability strengthens trust and security in the relationship.
2. Embracing Inconvenience
The second crucial aspect is being willing to face inconvenience for the sake of your partner. There will be moments when you might have to do things you don’t want to, but you choose to do them out of love and commitment.
3. Taking Responsibility for Actions
Lastly, being responsible for your actions is vital. It’s essential for both partners to demonstrate that they are accountable in their respective roles. A husband and wife must equally take responsibility for their actions to foster mutual respect and understanding.
When these three elements exist in a relationship, it becomes long-lasting and fulfilling.
Here’s What’s Common in Healthy marriages
The key to successful marriages lies in how partners handle moments of feeling avoided. The most common trait in successful relationships is reaching out whenever you feel ignored.
Reach Out Instead of Withdrawing
If one partner feels that the other is avoiding them, they don’t remain silent. Instead, they reach out and communicate openly. They express their feelings, telling their partner, “I feel like you’re ignoring me,” or “I’m hurt because you’re not fully present for me.”
Express What You Miss
Let your partner know how much you miss them, their love, and their attention. A healthy marriage has no room for ego battles. It’s not about who initiates or who speaks first—love always takes precedence.
Say “I Love You” First
Always be the first to say “I love you.” Even if you feel ignored, don’t retaliate by avoiding them in return. Instead, break the silence and reach out with love and understanding.
Successful marriages thrive on connection, and reaching out is one of the most powerful ways to maintain that bond.
Three Stages of Choosing a Partner
There are three stages to choosing a partner, and I’ll explain where we often go wrong.
1. Attraction to Physical Appearance
The first stage is being attracted to someone’s physical appearance. This is natural and important, as physical attraction plays a role in relationships.
2. Falling for Personality
In the second stage, you fall for their personality. This is where the emotional connection and feelings of love come into play. You admire how they carry themselves and how they make you feel.
3. Marrying Their Character
The third stage is marrying their character, and this is where most people make mistakes. Many couples decide to get married in the first stage, sometimes even after the first meeting, based on physical attraction alone. This is not enough.
It’s natural to be drawn to physical appearance, but before committing, you must get to know the person’s character deeply. Ask yourself:
- Will they stand by you through thick and thin?
- Are they nurturing and protective?
- Do they have the capability to provide and support you?
Character is revealed over time, and it cannot be judged based on a first meeting. Initial interactions might show a “fake” character, but the true character only becomes evident as you spend more time together.
