Parents, Stop Marrying Your Kids Outside Their Culture and Country
Because a “better future” shouldn’t come at the cost of their happiness.
The Hidden Struggles of Cross-Country Marriages
In many South Asian families, there’s an unspoken rule: “Find someone from back home.” Whether you’re living in the UK, USA, or Canada, the pressure to marry your child to someone from India, Pakistan, or Bangladesh is real.
Why?
Because it’s familiar. It feels safe. It keeps traditions alive.
However, here’s the harsh truth—this decision often leads to emotional struggles, cultural clashes, and broken relationships.
When “A Better Future” Turns Into a Nightmare
Parents often believe that marrying their daughter to someone living abroad is like gifting her a golden ticket to a better life. She’ll live in the West, have more opportunities, and enjoy a higher standard of living.
But reality hits hard.
Many girls brought from South Asia after marriage find themselves living in isolation. They become unpaid housekeepers, expected to cook, clean, and care for the family—while also navigating a foreign culture with no support system.
As a result, they lose their identity, their freedom, and sometimes, their voice.
Moreover, cultural isolation, language barriers, and emotional neglect can further deepen their struggles, leading to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Cultural Mismatches: A Recipe for Conflict
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room—cultural gaps.
• A girl raised in the West may value freedom, equality, and open communication.
• A boy raised in a conservative South Asian household may expect traditional gender roles and rigid family dynamics.
When these two worlds collide, misunderstandings quickly turn into arguments, and arguments often spiral into irreparable damage.
Here’s a scenario:
Imagine a Western-raised girl who has male friends. For her, it’s completely normal. However, for a husband from a more conservative background, this is unacceptable.
Or flip the script.
A South Asian man moves abroad after marriage and struggles to adjust to a culture where women are more independent and outspoken. Consequently, he feels lost, insecure, and out of place.
These cultural mismatches don’t just cause minor disagreements—they create deep-rooted conflicts that strain the marriage, often leading to resentment and eventual separation.
Daughters Aren’t “Family Responsibilities”
Let’s stop treating daughters like boxes to be checked.
Too often, parents view marriage as the final step in their responsibility—especially in immigrant families. “If she’s married and settled, my job is done.”
But at what cost?
Dragging her thousands of miles away, into a household that treats her more like help than family, isn’t setting her up for success—it’s setting her up for struggle.
Additionally, the emotional toll of leaving behind her support system can leave her feeling isolated and vulnerable.
The Immigration Trap
Another hard truth:
Some marriages are less about love and more about immigration.
Families sometimes use marriage as a way to bring someone abroad, thinking it benefits both sides. But when marriage becomes a transaction, emotions get lost in the process.
This creates power imbalances where one partner feels indebted or trapped, and the other holds control. In the long run, such dynamics often lead to emotional exploitation and dissatisfaction.
So, What Needs to Change?
1. Put Compatibility First: Marrying from your home country shouldn’t be the priority—marrying someone your child actually connects with should.
2. Educate on Cultural Differences: Understand that two people from different environments may have opposing worldviews. Therefore, it’s crucial to talk about it and prepare for it.
3. Stop Using Marriage as an Immigration Tool: Love isn’t a visa application. Consequently, marriage should be about partnership, not paperwork.
4. Give Daughters the Right to Choose: Let them pick someone who respects their values and lifestyle—even if that means breaking cultural expectations.
The Bottom Line
It’s time for parents to ask themselves:
Am I marrying off my child for their happiness—or to maintain tradition?
Because no tradition is worth your child’s peace of mind, emotional well-being, or future.
Marriages built on respect, understanding, and love thrive.
Marriages built on culture alone? They crumble.
Ultimately, let’s stop forcing cultural boxes on kids who’ve grown up in different worlds.
Let’s start prioritizing happiness over geography.
