Husband and Wife: Be a Team
Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs, challenges and victories, misunderstandings and reconciliations. But above all, it’s a journey best traveled together. Today, I want to share a fascinating incident from one of my recent counseling sessions that beautifully illustrates the importance of teamwork in a marriage.
An Unexpected Lesson from a Counseling Session
Just today, something very interesting happened as I was about to begin an online counseling session. As you may know, most of my sessions take place over Zoom, and while many are audio-only, this particular couple had requested a video call session.
As the session began, I noticed that although my camera was turned on, the couple was facing trouble turning theirs on. It wasn’t a technical issue from my end – my setup was working perfectly. The issue was entirely on their side. Neither of them could figure out how to switch on the video.
25 Days of Silence
Now here’s the real twist – this couple had not spoken to each other for the last 25 days. Yes, you read that right. Twenty-five days of complete silence. No communication. No interaction. Just emotional distance under the same roof.
And yet, this video call required them to do just one thing together: figure out how to turn the camera on. It wasn’t a big task. It didn’t require emotional vulnerability. It didn’t require confrontation. Just a small, simple technical step. But even that became a challenge.
A Simple Decision – A Complicated Process
You see, the session was originally set to be on the phone, but one of them decided they would use a laptop instead. This meant adjusting settings, logging in from a different device, and navigating Zoom on a new platform.
But since they weren’t speaking to each other, the decision wasn’t mutual. One made the choice, and the other went along – silently. And when it came to fixing the camera issue, they were stuck. Why? Because no one wanted to take the initiative or ask the other for help. They were still operating as individuals, not as a team.
Building Individual Mosques
In Urdu, there’s a saying: “Apni deirh eent ki masjid alag bana li.”
It translates to: “He built a mosque with just one and a half bricks – all by himself.”
This saying refers to someone who isolates themselves and refuses to collaborate or be part of the collective.
And this is exactly what was happening here. Each person was trying to solve the issue individually instead of working together. Their emotional and mental divide had crept into the smallest of tasks – even as simple as turning on a camera.
The Bigger Picture
What stood out to me the most was this:
This technical glitch – a small moment in time – became a symbol of their entire relationship.
They were both trying to “fix” things in their own way, without communication, without teamwork, and without unity.
But marriage is not meant to be lived like that. Marriage is about facing challenges together, no matter how small or big. It’s not about building separate lives under the same roof, but about constructing a shared future, brick by brick, side by side.
Marriage is a Team Sport
Think of a marriage as a team sport. No matter how talented one player is, victory only comes when both partners play in sync. You may face problems – technical glitches, emotional walls, financial stress, parenting hurdles – but if you face them together, you always stand a better chance of overcoming them.
This couple’s struggle with the Zoom camera was more than just a tech issue – it was a metaphor for their relationship. And once they realized that, the shift began.
Face Challenges Together
It’s not about avoiding problems. Life is full of them.
It’s about how you respond to them – together.
Even a small technical issue can become a turning point if it reminds you of the importance of unity. Even the smallest challenge can become an opportunity to reconnect.
So the next time something doesn’t work – whether it’s a camera, a conversation, or your connection – pause, breathe, and remember:
You’re a team. Act like one.
