Daughter-in-Law: A Housemaid or a Family Member?

In most cases, the primary reason for divorce is in-laws. While infidelity and commitment issues are also significant factors, in-laws play a major role. When I speak with couples, the most common complaint from in-laws is about the daughter-in-law. They often say:

“She doesn’t do household chores.”

“She doesn’t contribute to housework.”

Why Do In-Laws Have Such Expectations?

My question to in-laws in today’s video is:

When you bring a daughter-in-law into your home, are you bringing in a family member or a housemaid?

Why do you even have such requirements? Who are you to set these demands?

I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but I firmly believe that a woman’s responsibility includes her children and her husband—not her in-laws.

Why Should She Be Responsible for Household Chores?

Why should she cook and clean?

Before she was in your house, how did you manage? Did you survive on air? Didn’t you eat? Of course, you did. Food was cooked in your home before she arrived, so why now does she have to take over?

If she has joined your family, she will naturally eat with you. If four rotis were made before, now five will be made. But why must she be the one to cook them?

The Pressure on the Daughter-in-Law

I often see situations where if the daughter-in-law wakes up late, the family members just sit around and say,

“Oh, we haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

Why? Don’t you have hands and feet? Where did breakfast come from before she arrived? Did it fall from the sky? No, you made it yourself, and you ate it yourself—so do the same now.

Unrealistic Expectations After Marriage

The real problem is that when a new daughter-in-law comes home, she is expected to take over all responsibilities as if she were hired for the job.

Many in-laws think, “Now my duty is over. She will handle everything.”

There is nothing wrong if she wants to do household work out of love and willingness. However, her worth as a good or bad daughter-in-law should not be judged by how much she serves her in-laws.

Impact on Husband-Wife Bond

This is one of the biggest reasons why newly married couples struggle to build a strong bond. The husband often distances himself, saying,

“It’s not my problem, you deal with my family.”

Meanwhile, instead of focusing on her husband and their new life together, the wife spends all her time trying to please her in-laws.

This imbalance creates tension, weakens the relationship, and, in many cases, leads to marital breakdown.